lifeinflux

Who we talking ’bout here?

// October 26th, 2009 // Life

Ever had one of those weeks where you were so busy, you wonder how you got to Monday?   And were you so busy that when you got to Monday, all the stuff you did was a blur and you can’t quite put your finger on exactly what kept you so busy that entire time?   That was my week, last week.   And while I’m doing a lot of tasks that seem simple and mundane to the outside viewer, I find myself calmer and happier than I’ve been in a long time.    Well, okay, except last Wednesday night, but I’m allowed the occasional exception to the rule.

Last year, I juggled 55 hour work weeks with running the drama club program at Drue’s school.    To do this, I was up at 6 AM working on Drama Club stuff until 7:30.  Drue was on her own in the mornings to get ready and get herself together, a monumental task for a 4th grader who is easily distracted.   I dropped her off at the bus stop at 8:10 and flew – literally – into work.   I drove and paid to park so my car would be readily available and I would not be dependent on a flakey metro system.   Parking in DC is ridiculous and expensive, btw, so a huge amount of cash was consumed from September through the end of November just so I could get from Fairfax to DC and back again without having to deal with the Orange line running behind or shutting down as it is wont to do during downpours and minor snow flurries.   Downpours are prolific during the fall in northern Virginia, by the way.

I’d get to work at 8:30 and go, go, go all day until 4:00, skipping lunch and managing customers’ expectations that I would only be available Mondays and Wednesdays from 4:00 to 5:00 via cell phone.   At 4, I would dodge my main client and go down the backstairs to hit E Street running to get to my car.   I’d be home by 4:40, answering the phone and dealing with clients the entire time.  Sometimes my main client would be on the phone demanding to know why I left, even though I had set the expectation that Mondays and Wednesdays in September, October and November, I would leave at 4.   Let’s ignore the fact that I’d already been at work EIGHT HOURS that day.    I would snag Drue at 4:40 (and sometimes her pals too) and be at the school by 5:00, exhausted, overwhelmed and sometimes out and out upset.  But I’d put it all aside because I had 125 kids depending on me to have my act together and guide them for an hour and a half of technical and dramatic theatre.   I loved it because it was good times.

I can say with a straight face that working with those kids two nights a week (and more than two nights a week in November) saved my soul.    Drue and I would get home around 7:00, usually snagging some god-awful fast food dinner on the way (or call Dominos), I’d help her get started on her homework and then open my laptop to deal with the 2000 emergencies that occurred between 4:00 and god knows when.    I’d work through dinner, conversing with Drue when my mind was not too overwhelmed with the clients’ demands in front of me.    A quick kiss and a brief chat at bedtime was about all the quality time Drue got for the evening before I’d head into my room to work on client needs until midnight.    And then I’d usually hiss “OH SHIT!” remembering I had promised Drue or her school I would do something or other and then I’d be up until 1, 2, 3 in the morning.    The alarm would ring a few short hours later and I’d start all over again, this time working until 7:00 on a Tuesday or Thursday to “make up” for the fact that I left the client site at 4 PM after putting in a mere 8.5 hours.

I don’t miss that life at all.

Sure, I no longer live off adrenaline 24/7.    And while I believed in what I was doing, supporting adult training and education, being a consultant requires a certain willingness to sacrifice every area of your personal life for the general good of the client.    And while I am very, very good at what I do, I’m no longer willing to sacrifice myself or the people in my life for clients who pay me for 40 hours of my life and scream when they don’t get 60.

Last week, I did a lot of laundry and a lot of reading.  The laundry was for the Drama Club; we have over 500 costumes that needed dry cleaning or laundering and I signed up to do it.    The reading was research so I can finish filing my LLC paperwork next month. My goal of creating my own company by the end of November is very close! I also spent some time catching up on movies I had missed (thank you, Netflix) and contemplating on some of my goals on my 101 things in 1001 days list. I also worked on the back end of this site and started drafting the design for my other sites. I’m very excited.   While you don’t see any changes here today, you will see changes very shortly.    While none of these things are as exciting as my old job – I no longer guide agencies towards best practices in the hopes that they make good decisions with their budgets as opposed to wasting tax payer dollars – each thing I do now is exciting in its own way.   Because each day I do things I believe in doing, things that are reasonable and productive and provide some good to me, my family and/or others in my community.   And the fact that my quality time with Drue can be measured in hours instead of minutes per day is a great thing.

Yesterday,  I was sitting outside on a basketball court, sipping water, chatting with lovely people and watching our kids paint backdrops.   Jason, Drue and I, along with a terrific group of parents and their kids, had just finished cleaning out the Drama Club closet, a huge storage room under the school.  It was a balmy 60 degrees, the kids were having a blast, we’d all accomplished something for the Drama Club and the school and it was a beautiful day.  My phone was silent – there was no boss calling me from my company asking me to give up yet another moment in my personal life to meet the demands of an unreasonable client.    I was pleasantly sore, in that way that reminds you you’ve done a good, honest, hard day’s work.    For the first time, in a long time, I felt like I’d finally gotten it right.   It may not be a sexy, fast-paced, high-paying, adrenaline-charged life but it’s mine and I’m happy.  And that’s exactly right.