So the verdict is in.  I have bronchitis.   And we’re not talking nice viral bronchitis either.   This is the cough all night, choke up green globs of mucus, blow your nose so hard your head ends up in next week, bacterial bronchitis.   It started two weeks ago when I lost my voice.  I always lose my voice by mid-November so I did not think anything of it.   You tell 50 plus kids to proojeccct or to Beeee Quieeettt for eleven weeks and you would lose your voice too.    So while I’ve probably been sick for two weeks, I wrote it off to voice exhaustion.  And me being me – you know, stubborn – I started popping Halls cough drops like candy and ignored the other symptoms that were creeping up on me.   You know the ones – fever, chills, coughing, aching, getting no sleep, choking up mucus.     If you read my blog at all, you’ll remember that Northwest is now known as the airline that ruined Thanksgiving.  As unhappy as I am that we were not in Alabama for Thanksgiving, if I were my family I’d be thrilled.  Because along with the small gifts we had tucked away in our carry-on luggage, the big gift of the holiday season would be Jeri getting everyone sick.   And if that happened, I’d be in huge trouble with my mom.  And even though I am at that age where my mom can’t actually ground me or take my iPhone away, she can still give me that evil, silent glare, “you are in SUCH trouble, young lady” look that makes me want to throw my body on the ground and writhe around until she focuses that glare on something else.   You think Jane (you know, from New Moon) has the pain thing down?    Just go get in trouble with my mom.  She doesn’t even have to utter a word and you’re writhing.

Rows and rows of ineffective western medicine

After two weeks of medicating myself with Halls with Vitamin C, Halls with Zinc, Theraflu, Robitussin, Sudafed, Tylenol and Musinex, I was ready to fall over.  I was not sleeping well at night, spent most of my days trying not to throw up or gas out the Bear.   And believe you me, a body has to work hard to gas out the Bear.  Bear could run his own methane lab with what comes out of his rear end.    So I medicated and medicated and medicated some more.  I drank a metric ton of tea and ate a metric ton of soup and Mexican food.   Spice is good when I’m feeling on top of my game;  when I’m sick, it’s imperative.     Last Friday, I gave up or gave in and finally turned to Jason and said, “I feel crummy.”  To his credit, he did not turn to me and say “Well DUH, Jeri”.  Nope, he just nodded and asked me what I needed.    Then he refused to go get the spork required to pry my lungs out of my body so I could powerwash the mucus out of them.  Instead, he suggested I rest.   My response, “Well, DUH”.

Pleurisy Root better known as Milkweed

Sunday we started googling “clinics for uninsured”.   It is not that I am totally without insurance but when you only have major medical, your definition of major medical and the health insurance company’s are very different.   What’s major for me is minor for them and can be solved by spend $150 to go to an Urgent Care.     Pshaw.    CVS offers a clinic for $65 but I already know what I have; the question is do I want to put yet another round of antibiotics in my body?    Probably not.    Bronchitis is something I suffer from annually and, at some point, the antibiotics I rely on to make me better are going to stop working.  So then what do I do?   Well, luckily there are several eastern medical practices in the northern Virginia area and all of them are reasonably priced with or without health insurance.  So that is a plus.  And all of them point to this nifty little website called The Green Pharmacy.  So I armed myself with the page on “Bronchitis” and drove to Whole Foods.

The Calendula Flower

Now some of their suggestions made sense.   For example, I already knew that eucalyptus oil is the main ingredient in Vicks VapoRub and is a powerful cough suppressant.  What I did not know – but do now thanks to The Green Pharmacy is that it is also an antiseptic, a natural coolant and an expectorant.   I also had no idea that pleurisy root (better known as milkweed) in combination with the calendula flower, licorice root, ginger and bitter fennel makes a powerful caffeine-free tea that opens up my mucous membranes, promotes productive coughs and yet soothes my aching lungs, throat and head so I can sleep.   Forget Nyquil!   This tea is my new nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep you ever got with a cold medicine.

The Mullein Plant

On top of that, I discovered the mullein plant.  Mullein is about the most perfect respiratory infection fighter out there.  It has expectorant properties which helps bring up that all that sticky, green, nasty phlegm.   In fact, mullein has been an herbal favorite for respiratory ailments for thousands of years. In addition to its expectorant action, it soothes the throat, has bactericidal activity and helps stop the muscle spasms that trigger coughs.     It’s not a sexy plant – look Ma, no flowers – but it sure does the job.   Two glasses of tea, 30 drops of Mullein Leaf extract into a small glass of warm water and 10mL of Ivy Leaf Syrup were all I needed to sleep like a baby last night.    And given that was my first night of real sleep in two weeks, I look forward to an early bedtime tonight to ensure I get more!

Mmm, peppermint!

What about peppermint, you say?    Well the good news is that peppermint can be added to any tea or you can buy those lovely pre-packaged teas with a nice selection of licorice root, eucalyptus leaf, bitter fennel, calendula, garlic root, pleurisy root and a dash of peppermint leaf already packaged into neat tea bags.   And sure, some of you may be saying that my bronchitis may be entering its final phase on its own.    And I would agree with you.  I’m a pretty healthy person and I know that at some point my body would take care of the infection on its own.   However, yesterday I just wanted to die.   Okay, that’s a little dramatic.  But I was horribly sleep-deprived, my lungs and throat and head ached and I couldn’t find relief in any of the western medications I had purchased and consumed ad nauseum (not to mention to the tune of $128.47.   For half that, a mere $60, I purchased homeopathic, all natural herbs, leaves, and oils that provided immediate relief and allowed me to sleep.   So maybe today I feel better because I finally got 10 good hours of rest.  I can buy that.  But I also know it was the herbs and leaves and oils that ensured I got that sleep and not the drugs I’ve been putting in my body for the last fourteen days.

Don’t get me wrong.   I’m not eschewing Western medicine nor am I suggesting that I won’t ever visit my GP for a physical or go get my annual PAP.   These things are good and necessary and something I do annually.   But I am suggesting that maybe, just maybe, instead of jumping on the OTC, antibiotic, drugs are best bandwagon, that we take a step back and look at what nature has provided us as natural medicines.   And then, if those don’t work, by all means go get a prescription or hit your local drug store’s aisles.    As for me, while I am awfully glad that my little company has the ability to provide me with full health insurance coverage (including dental!!), I am also happy I found alternative care that is not cost prohibitive and looks out for my entire well being and not a pharmaceutical company’s bottom line.