lifeinflux

The other day, Jason whined that my posts on Lifeinflux are not as random and fun as my posts used to be when I was on Livejournal. He said that random and fun were the reasons people read as opposed to, you know, my insightful observations and words of profound wisdom.  Mom, stop chuckling.  I HEAR YOU.   I reminded Jason that sharing crap in my head frequently scares people off.    Jason’s reply was “but I love peanut cookies” which means that in Jason’s opinion scaring people off is fun and random… and that I was holding our mega jar of Peter Pan peanut butter in my hands.   A = B = C, right?   And yes, I meant to type HANDS.  We buy our peanut butter in volume at Costco.   Deal.     So, in honor of Jason’s request, and because today I do NOT have time to bake him peanut cookies, I will share the random crap that popped into my head between the hours of 2 AM and right now.   Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I dreamt of the Talent Show last night and sometime between 2 and whenever the alarm/cat purr noise combo woke me, I wrote down the act performance order…. in Swahili apparently.    I don’t know Swahili and I don’t know if this scribble scratch is actually Swahili but I’ve told nine people this morning that I am translating my notes from Swahili which is why I haven’t emailed them the list yet.  So apparently it’s true.  And isn’t Swahili cooler than scribble scratch?   I thought so too.  Plus it saves me the burden of admitting that I, in fact, write in my sleep.   Actually it’s more semi-sleep… which I just admitted here.  Sigh.

Pancakes are almost the perfect food but since cupcakes are the perfect food, pancakes can’t be.  Sorry, pancakes.

I can’t believe my child, my flesh and blood, my once 10 lb, 9 1/2 ounce baby who took 12 hours to come into this world (if my Mom can hold her labor over my head, I can hold mine over Drue’s), picked comfortable, non-matching shoes over the cute, but mildly uncomfortable ones that go with her outfit. This is obviously a form of rebellion. Or Jason is rubbing off on her. GAH!

I like color, mmk?

I hate people who can jog along with their dog, mostly because I want to be one of those people too.   And while I can jog, I cannot jog with Bear.   Because Bear is not one of those dogs who trots along beside my knee, gazing lovingly up at me while I perkily bob along to the tune of Britney or Fergie on my iPod.   No, Bear is one of those dogs who stops on a dime before trying to further separate my AC joints while pulling me down the road at full run so he can chase after deer six houses away only to hit the ground flat because OHMIGOD THERE IS A SQUIRREL.   And, we all know the squirrels are out to get him.  Or something.    That said, after a miler with Bear my abs, arms, back, shoulders, quads and ass hurt from all the stop, pull, jerk, run and drop.   Your dog can stop, drop and roll? Pfft.  Amateur.    Your dog can run a three miler while heeling?   HATE YOU with a passion.  Oh and my dog can be covered in mud in under three seconds.  Can your dog do that?  Didn’t think so.   And he’s secure in his bear-hood.  And he wears stripes well.

In a nutshell, you can take your jog able dog and shove it.

Going Rouge, An American Nightmare

Sarah Palin would piss me off except Ann Coulter has the spot of most obnoxious, Republican waste-of-space-on-the-planet position all wrapped up.   And well, Sarah Palin is so stupid that she’s the ongoing punchline of her own joke.   That said, I finally found a Palin book I will read.   I do think calling her an “American Nightmare” is a little strong and giving her more credit than she is due.   Maybe they can re-release it under a new title?    Going Rouge:  An American Joke feels more accurate.   And, why not a book on Olympia Snowe?  I can totally stand behind a true fiscal conservative with moderate leanings who votes her conscience and for the people she represents. This, btw, is a “WOW – what a concept” moment in politics.   Sure, the Republican Party has branded her a traitor; but then, the Republican party sucks, has abandoned true conservatism and has gone all scary, right-wing Christian coalition on us.   And that’s bad.   Think of every time in history religion and political power have mixed?   No good comes of this!   Segue – come to think of it, I like Susan Collins as well.  She’s around Palin’s age, right?    Why the heck couldn’t McCain have gone with her for his vice president pick instead of Palin?    Is the Republican Party indulging in psychotropic drugs now?   Does Maine manage to create something the rest of the country cannot – bipartisan, moderate politicians?   And why are they REPUBLICANS?   This is going to tax 1/64ths of my brain ALL DAY.

Why do I have to clean the dog crate, all of Kodi’s blankets, the car blanket, the car, Kodi’s babies and the entire bathroom every time Kodi gets a bath.  Oh, right.  OCD.  Never mind.

Now – Coffee, apple, emails, forms, storyboard, meeting, research, invoices, horse back riding, dinner, and bed.  Not a bad Wednesday, hm?