lifeinflux

If Hollywood can reboot, so can I!

// October 8th, 2012 // Life

The other day I was chatting with one of my friends about how I miss writing, never have time to write and wish I could get back to the old lifeinflux blog when she nicely reminded me that in the time I just spent bitching and moaning about it, I could have written an entire blog post.  Me being me, I immediately rejected that notion because my site hasn’t been updated in forever, much less finished and I have a design to-do list the length of my arm (okay maybe I’m exaggerating) that I MUST accomplish before indulging in the pleasure of writing and posting a single thing.   This morning I woke up to Rascal barfing on the floor after eating god knows what and after sitting at the laptop for awhile trying to find some sort of inspiration, I called bullshit on myself, something I am getting better and better at doing.  For example, “Jeri you must wake up at a ridiculously early time to make a homemade something or other for the potluck today!”  Bullshit!   “Jeri, “You should continue to overcommit and try to be in two or three places at once ensuring you will be batshit crazy by the time you’re 40!!!”  Horse puckey!!    See how that works?   It’s amazing this calling yourself out on impractical ideas and it saves so much time and resentment on my part, I can’t believe I didn’t give up and go with the flow earlier.  The bonus is this new way of thinking ensures I get to shower on daily basis (BONUS!!).  Because, really, who cares if I bring the most delicious, homemade whatever to the potluck while sporting oil-slicked hair, an overly perfumed body, dog hair hanging off my clothing and makeup on only the right side of my face.  You’re not going to eat the food I gave up grooming time to make!  You’re going to sit back and think, “Man that person obviously has a lot of dog hair hanging out in her house” (and for the record, I do).  And then I’m going to be all depressed driving home thinking, “But I cleaned all the dog hair AND the smelly dog puke up in the kitchen before I cooked… what is their problem anyway!!   And then I’ll think you’re mean, and judgmental and who are you anyway and you’ll think I’m smelly and wonder why I can’t bathe properly when I only have one kid and you have three (or two dozen) and we’ll never be friends. The end.

So after giving up on the potluck and the awesome idea I got pre-coffee about posting pictures and a recipe of what I was making for today’s blog post, I got sidelined wondering how many ways one could say bullshit without saying bullshit and twenty minutes later realized that this right here is why I don’t post a lot.  I get started, I get all dramatic, I get distracted, I spend way too much time on the interwebs Googling things like “bullshit in different languages” and then spend another long period of time making sure I say kletspraat and absurda correctly before deciding that’s too much hard work and instead will affect a horrible English accent and just say “rubbish” a lot in the future.    Oh by the way, kletspraat and absurda are bullshit in Dutch and Spanish for you uninformed people out there.  And it has to be true because the Interweb said so and the Interweb doesn’t lie… ever.

Then I moseyed over to my other laptop and started working with data and a few hours passed and then I realized my poor half-written, under-developed blog post was just sitting out here on its lonesome, perched in the void between autosave and not really saved and I was ignoring it.   And I almost read through it but stopped myself because that leads to editing until I become so frustrated I delete the whole damn thing and think “tomorrow will be a better posting day”.   But my reality is that no day is a better posting day.   Every day is insane, and different and crazy and fragmented and dog hair filled and regardless of how early I get up or how much I try to focus on blogging that perfect post, it just isn’t going to happen.  My life is not constructed that way and lord knows, neither I am.  And really I wouldn’t have it any other way.   So this week I am going to start by just posting and see what happens.  It will be random and unformed and all over the place.  I’m also going to try to restructure life influx, hitting the highlights and only working on the design pieces I actually give a crap about (crap being yet another way of saying bullshit, just so you know).   And then I’m going to get on a plane and fly to Austin and indulge in a few days with my friends there, listen to a lot of great music, interview some little known bands, take a lot of pictures and then come back and blog some more.

And if you don’t like it, oh well.