I knew I was in trouble this morning the moment I opened my eyes. Mimir, otherwise known as The Cat™, was sitting by my head frantically pushing at my face. There are wonderful ways to be nudged from sleep. There are great ways to be nudged from sleep. Shoot, there are even “okay, I wanted to sleep but you woke me up” ways to be nudged from sleep. Having a cat push her paw into your cheekbone is not any of them. It is, however, effective. Since I went to bed around 5:30 AM after pulling an all-nighter to ensure morning delivery to a client, getting nudged in the face at 10 AM was not the way I wanted to wake up.
Life
My life of late… better know as insanity
November 28th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
I’m a chronic volunteer. I cannot stand a need not getting done. I’m Type-A, except when I’m not, and then I’m so Type C you wonder where all that OCD, anal-retentive, I alphabetize my DVDs and color-coordinate my outfits to my underoos dominant – and occasionally domineering – life is a project and I must manage it, personality goes. Well I’m here to give you the answer. It goes to Madagascar. Why Madagascar? I don’t know. I just like saying “Madagascar”. But now you know. Tangent about my weird personality aside, my organizational skills and inability to Just Say No to something that needs to get done often works in my favor. For example, when Drue got transfered to her present elementary school and someone mentioned they needed an arts coordinator to run the Talent Show and restore the Drama Club, it took less than a second for me to raise my hand and say “I’ll do it”. In fact, I wasn’t even consciously aware of agreeing to take on these projects until people started clapping. But me being me, I figured I’d feng shui and organize the H-E-double hockey sticks out it (see Drue, Mommy even stopped cussing on her BLOG), and all will be well. How hard is it to put on a play and run a Talent Show right? Right?
Count your many blessings…
November 27th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
I know what you’re doing right now… you’re counting down from week one to two to three to um… six? Yes, I know how to count and no, I did not bump my head and go into a coma for two weeks. Nor did I contract swine flu and spend the last two weeks in bed (although lord-a-mercy the thought of two weeks in bed just sounds so good right now). Weeks 4 and 5 are coming! They are, in fact, being written right now, at this very minute, while you sit here reading about this week, week 6. So finish shaking your head and throw in a few “ohnoeshedi-ent”s and then get over yourself. Because if I can get over myself after this week, so can you! Just sayin’.
A very merry un-aversary
November 13th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
Eleven years ago, Jason and I got hitched for better or worse in the Hillsborough courthouse in front of a jail cell by one Mr. Cleatus A. Marmaduke III. He had bug eyes and a blue and white polyester suit and moved and talked like he existed in a vat of molasses (pronounced MOE-lasses for you uninitiated). One of our witnesses made the comment that the setting and the justice of the peace looked like something out of a bad Southern movie you’d find on Lifetime. I was roughly three months pregnant and our latest prenatal tests had come back iffy. Jason had better health insurance and we had a big church wedding on the horizon, something I absolutely did not want, so the JOP ceremony gave me the wedding I desired and took care of the health insurance issues in one fell swoop.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
November 3rd, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
I want to full-on, smooch all over the person who invented Tamiflu because without this little wonder drug, I wouldn’t be posting at all. Instead, I’d be cleaning up projectile vomit for the second night in a row and wishing I would just die and put myself out of my own misery. But I’m leaping ahead of my entire week and starting with the ending. While this is just like me, I figure if you’re reading you want the entire recap and not just praise of my new H1N1-destroying wonder drug.
Who we talking ’bout here?
October 26th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
Ever had one of those weeks where you were so busy, you wonder how you got to Monday? And were you so busy that when you got to Monday, all the stuff you did was a blur and you can’t quite put your finger on exactly what kept you so busy that entire time? That was my week, last week. And while I’m doing a lot of tasks that seem simple and mundane to the outside viewer, I find myself calmer and happier than I’ve been in a long time. Well, okay, except last Wednesday night, but I’m allowed the occasional exception to the rule.
Halloween to Hoochie-ween (and really not much in between)
October 16th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
Shopping for Halloween costumes with my tween is akin to getting a root canal. I’ve never had a root canal but I know people who have and they never emerge from the dentist’s chair smiling. In fact, they often look like they are caught in that place between sheer, outright pain and Novocaine and it’s not a good place to be. And that’s the look on my face after visiting multiple Halloween stores and Party City. Because Drue is tall, she no longer fits into child-sized costumes. While they still fit her width-wise, length-wise we’re already in trouble. Long dresses and skirts hit her mid-knee and anything mini is micro-mini on her long body. And Drue wearing micro-minis is something I’m not prepared to deal with since the moment she emerges in one, Jason starts googling words like “gun store” and “shotguns”. Really, though, all I want is some transition for tweens and teens that meets somewhere in the middle between child sizes and slut.
A simple(r) life…
October 5th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
There are so many good things that came from leaving the 9-to-5 grind that I find myself challenged to define the “best” one. Surprisingly, cutting back has become less of an obstacle and more of a challenge. Sure, I freaked out a little when I realized that dropping $50 a week on hair product that just sits on shelves was no longer going to be the norm. And by a little, I mean I sat in the back aisle of Ulta, clutching my basket filled with gel and spritz and hair wax in one hand and my iPhone in the other, looking at my bank balance while moaning that I sliced my toiletries budget way too much! I mean, I love my hair product.
An unstructured structured existence, part one
September 17th, 2009 | by Jeri | published in Life
Now that I am working from home and am only responsible to myself for getting my ever-growing list of to-do’s done, I find I am indulging in a rather unstructured existence. Granted, this is a nice change after four and a half years of structured and stressful living, meeting the demands of The ManTM [...]