lifeinflux

Do’s and Don’ts

Dear Me,

Here’s a little list of things you will do (or not do depending) to improve your own physically, mental and emotional wellbeing.   These things come first before others’ needs.  You cannot be the person you want to be and take care of those around you without first taking care of yourself.

 JUST DO IT, YO!

1. Make mistakes.  If people forgive you for them, great. If not, screw them.  Not getting over it is their problem.  Don’t make it yours.

2. Walk everywhere.   You live close enough to everything in your town to not need your car to get around.   Limit the amount of time you spend traveling outside your area if at all possible.  Take your puppy with you if at all possible.  He’ll love you for it.

3. Eat wholesome, natural, unprocessed food.  You love to meal plan, to cook, and to eat.  Non-plant based carbohydrates make you feel sick.  So stop eating them!  Focus instead of what you can eat and spend time prepping to cover those busy life moments instead of indulging in food you shouldn’t eat and regret eating later.

4.  Spend time with friends.  You have amazing friends from all different walks of life.  Spend balanced time with all of them.  When you give too much to one friend group over another, you feel unbalanced and out of sorts.  Just as you can never be everything for another, one group cannot meet all your social needs and that’s okay.  Protect that balance.  If they are your friends, they will understand.

5. Pick creative over money.   Yes, you can make money faster building products you don’t necessarily love but make incredibly well.   However, that leaves you less time and energy for the creative projects you love.

6. Play the piano and the guitar as often as you want.  You enjoy playing.  So play.

7. Write a few times a week.  You like it, it’s good for you, it gives you perspective.   Enough said.

8. Indulge occasionally and mindfully.  Plan your indulgences ahead of time.  You binge on things (food and non-food) when you feel you won’t get another opportunity to have them again.

9. Close the door.  And by close the door, I mean literally and physically close the door.  You’re allowed to nest in your own space, all by yourself, whenever you like.  Figuratively speaking that means you can also shut off the phone, the iPad, the computers and anything else.

10. Embarrass Drue.  Let’s face it.  You’re her mother which means your mere presence embarrasses Drue.  And you’re amusing, you have the musical tastes of a 22- year old, you think you’re pretty cool and you like her friends AND her friends’ parents all of which really, really, REALLY embarrasses Drue.  But, when you’re dead and gone, I bet those embarrassing moments that make her toes curl and has her shrieking, “MOM! Really?!!?” are the ones she’ll remember and look back on fondly.  Okay, maybe she’ll just remember them.

 CEASE AND DESIST, MMK?

1. Skimp on sleep.  You need it, you don’t get enough of it and it’s making you cranky and unhealthy.

2. Say yes to anything just because you CAN.  From now on you only say yes when you really, really, REALLY want to do it.  Otherwise, say NO.  Because you can do it or want to help or whatever is no longer an acceptable reason for saying yes.

3. Worry about what other people think.  You are you.  They will like you or not like you.

4. Complaining.  Your life is good.  Shit happens to everyone.  Bonding with people over complaints is not healthy nor positive.  You can be a sounding board for folks without enabling them and indulging in your own negative mood.

5. Trying to make your entire family be something they are not.   Enjoy the family you have and whom you choose to be around.  Stop wasting time, energy and head space on the negative ones, the hypocritical ones, the liars and manipulators. They are who they are and you are better off without them in your life.  Instead, focus the positive on the family whom you love and who loves you.  It may be a small group of people but it’s an incredible group of people and you and Drue will be so much better off for it.

6. Feel guilty about personal or down time.  You work really hard.  You are allowed time to yourself, to do whatever you want to do, when you want to do it.  Oh and by the way, if you’re only saying yes to things you really want to do, you won’t have to shirk obligations to find down time or feel guilty for taking time away from your insane task list to indulge in some down time.  Just sayin’.

7. Live on email. The world will not end if you don’t answer your email within a specific time after getting it.  Check it once in the morning, check it again around lunch time, check it one final time at night.  If someone needs you in between, there’s IM, Facebook or even (GASP!) phones!!

8. Make other people’s priorities yours.  If they are truly their priorities you only need to be a cheerleader, facilitator, mentor or supporter.  You do not need to be a doer.  Save the doing for your priorities.

9. Expect work to fill a void that non-work relationships and activities should.  To quote the 4-Hour Workday, “Schedule life and defend it just as you would an important business meeting.”

10. Be so damn busy.  You’re impressing no one and exhausting yourself and not taking care of yourself which means you’re probably ignoring your own Just Do It! list.   So quit it.